Fairytales
by piccolina19
Summary: Sirius looked kind of excited by now. “I haven’t had a decent adventure in so long. I feel like Nancy Drew!” SBHG.
1. Prologue

Unfortuently, I don't own anything. It'd be kinda nice to have Sirius, but somehow I don't think that's really possible.

This is my first story, and pretty much an AU. Sirius is alive, as are most people. And I'm not really sure if it's good enough to continue or not. But let's hope so! It's a Sirius/Hermione.

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* * *

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1984

"But mummy! It's early!" 

_"It's not, Hermione. And I can't read you anymore fairytales! Besides, you've heard this one a million times."_

_"But I love it! The handsome prince is so romantic when he poroses to his princess!"_

_"Proposes, honey. Look at your eyes! Your tired... sleep time now."_

_"Okay, okay. Mummy?"_

_"Yes darling?"_

_"Is daddy your prince?"_

_"Of course he is."_

_"Will you be together forever? Just like in the books?!"_

_"Of course we will. I promise."_

* * *

_1985_

_"Mummy, I wrote my list for Santa!"_

_"Oh? What'd you write? Yet another fairytale book?" _

_"No... I asked that you and daddy would be happy forever."_

_"Oh, Hermione. That's very sweet, but Santa might not be able to grant that one wish this year. Is there anything else you'd like?"_

_"Not really. But I bet Santa will give me my present! I bet he believes in fairytales and true love forever just as much as I do!!"_

_

* * *

_

_1986_

"_But… but… mummy..."_

"_I'm sorry darling."_

"_But I asked Santa for it! And Santa should've made it come true!!" _

"_Baby..."_

"_How long will he be gone?"  
"Forever, sweetie. Daddy was sick. But he's happy now. He's with your grandmother and grandfather in heaven." _

"_But the fairytale said you'd be together forever!"_

"_I know, Hermione. I know."_

That was the year six year old Hermione Granger stopped believing in Santa. If she'd waited another year, she would've found out he wasn't real anyway, from her cousin Jeremiah. But 1986 was also the year Hermione stopped asking for fairytale books for presents. The year she asked for books about history and places around the world. The year she asked to stop being called princess. In a few more years, she'd believe in magic again. But something had changed dramatically. She'd mentally aged so much. Everything was so serious and planned. There wasn't a hint of the old carefree Hermione in her.

* * *

2001- present day.

"Hey Hermione." Grinned Harry from his spot on his godfathers house (now also home to himself, Ron, Ginny and Hermione) at Grimmauld Place. "We were just wondering where you were."

"I had a few errands to run." Hermione sat on the couch next to Harry, waving and grinning at Teddy Lupin; Remus and Tonks' two year old son, and Harry's own godchild.

"Yeah. Teddy wants someone to read Cinderella to him. God knows why, when he's a boy." Ron grumbled. "And Harry and I haven't really got good story-telling voices. Would you read it to him?"

Hermione frowned. "Sorry boys, but I've got far more important things to do then read stupid, inane fairytales." She stormed off, leaving her two best friends in shock. Ron was the first to speak.

"Wow, imagine what she'd do if we asked her to read Snow White."

In her room upstairs, Hermione was searching through her drawers to find the dog-eared book from so many years ago. She finally found it. Her very first copy of Cinderella. She hadn't looked at it in years, throwing it in her desk drawer and covering it with books and papers. She ran a finger over the spine, letting a small smile cross her face at the thought of how she used to beg her parents to read her the book when she was younger. She opened it up, looking at the engraving on the inside cover.

_Hermione-_

_I hope you love your very first fairytale book. I loved fairytales when I was little, and it's something I've always hoped to pass on to my child. Cinderella is an especially magical tale. It proves that magic is everywhere you look, love. All you have to do it believe in it._

_Love always, _

_Daddy._

"I wish I still could believe." Hermione whispered to herself.

All of a sudden, thunder cracked at the sky. Hermione went over to the window to see what was going on… it was supposed to be quite a hot night. The last thing she remembered was a blinding flash before it all went dark.

* * *

So, that's the prologue. It'd be great to get some feedback! Thanks, hope you enjoyed it. 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One. Enjoy! Still down own anything.

* * *

When she woke up, the first thing Hermione noticed was colour. Lots and lots of colour. "As if my head didn't hurt enough from falling on it, let's add miles and miles of bright shapes and objects." She grumbled, getting up and dusting herself off. She checked herself over for cuts or bruises, but she looked exactly the same as she had in her room. "Well. Unless Kreacher went crazy with the decorating, I'd say I'm not at Grimmauld Place anymore." Glancing around, she noticed that something was off. Very off. Maybe it was the castle. Or the perfect, identical rows of houses.

…Or it could've been the cartoon horse heading towards her. With a cartoon man on it.

Yeah, that was probably it.

"Fair maiden! I saw you fall! Are you ill?"

"I- I- no? Unless you count mentally, because I'm pretty sure I'm in trouble in that category right now."

"You must come and be tended to at once!"

"I'm sorry, but who are you? And why are you looking like a bad Shrek movie?"

The man looked confused for a second, but then puffed up his animated chest and said, as though he were announcing the greatest thing in the world, "I am Prince Draconis."

"Draconis?!" Laughed Hermione. Well, he did bear a resemblance to Malfoy, in a way. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Unfortunately, there was a bit of a difference. Malfoy was REAL.

"Okay, is this a Weasley prank? Did they decide to turn everyone cartoon? I'm going to kill Fred and George."

'Prince Draconis' looked even more confused.

"Are Fred and George the evil villains who did this to you?! Where are they? I shall seek revenge!"

"No, no. No need to do any seeking or revenging. Just tell me where I am."

"Why, you are in my fathers kingdom! The land of Adoricas!"

"Adoricas. Right." Hermione's logical side decided to stop by for a visit. She'd never heard of Adoricas. Never read about it. So obviously, this place wasn't real. History books never let her down. They were her friends. They never promised to call and then didn't, or.. that wasn't the point. '_Focus Hermione. Make believe land, right in front of you.'_

"This is a figment of my imagination. I'm dreaming. Any minute now, a couple of hundred midgets, a yellow brick road and a fairy godmother will appear."

"Fairy godmother?! Do you know them?"

"Pardon?!"

"Well they all live just next to the wood. They keep to themselves mostly, only appearing in dire times of need."

"This is nuts. Your insane. And I need to wake up RIGHT NOW."

"You are awake, fair maiden!" The Prince laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes. This guy was starting to get on her nerves, with his pompous attitude. Definetely a relation to Malfoy. Malfoy v.2, now with extra gel, animated horse and puffy, velvet sleeves.

Realizing she wasn't going to get rid of this guy by standing there and staring, Hermione smiled sweetly up at him.

"Well, my.. fair Prince. Thank you for your kindness, but I have to go.. bake. Bread. At home. Without you."

"Ah, of course. I shall see you later, my fairest, as the fates will see to it. Goodbye and sweet tidings." And he rode off into the sunset. Well, not really. But Hermione figured it was the kind of moment that needed a sunset.

* * *

_Grimmauld Place_

"_What do you need she's missing?!" _

"_How many ways can I say it, Ron? She's Absent without leave. Not here. Gone. Invisible. Not in our plane of existence. Physically-"_

"_I get it, I get it. No need to be snarky."_

"_Shut up, you two. This is serious." A new voice added to the two younger ones._

"_Ron. Make ONE 'serious and Sirius' joke and I will hex you."_

"_I wasn't even thinking it, Harry."_

"_You two are maddening. Stay with Teddy. I'll search upstairs."_

_Sirius Black hadn't had an easy life. He'd been wrongfully accused, in prison, on the run and in hiding and then died. He'd been brought back 3 years ago as a 35 year old, with a new perspective on life; have more fun and don't stress. So searching for a missing bookworm wasn't exactly how he'd envisioned spending his day when he woke up that morning. Sighing, he rolled his eyes as he heard Harry and Ron arguing downstairs, and walked into Hermione's room. Nothing seemed out of place, except for a book on the ground. Sirius walked up to it and picked it up, opening it._

* * *

Adoricas. 

Hermione had been walking for what felt like hours. And hours. And she was still so very far away from finding out what the hell was going on. She was, however, becoming more and more confused by the minute. For example. There were animals everywhere. Hermione loved animals, sure. But she didn't love it when said animals could talk and kept singing. "This is way too Disney for me." She mumbled as yet another squirrel ran by singing a song about true love and trees. Which was an odd combination, but hey. Hermione didn't judge.

"Excuse me?" A soft voice said from behind her. Hermione spun around to find a Cinderella look-a-like, only with black shorter hair. "Um. Hello."

"Hello. I am Enchantra. And I've been wandering for so long, and I'm so very tired. Do you know of a place to rest my head?"

"Can't say I do. Try the trees. The squirrels seem to like them." After she said it, she realized how ridiculous it sounded. But 'Enchantra' didn't seem to notice, because she started to sing.

"Oh. Merlin's. Beard. No." Hermione said, in horror.

"_I've been traveling for so long_

_just to find my true love_

_in hope that one day_

_he would hear my song."_

"You know, it's okay, really. No need to sing! I know about your traveling and oh GOD, here come the animals."

An assortment of animals had surrounded Enchantra, and began to sing backup. Hermione shuddered when she realized that dancing may come next.

"_I've been waiting so long_

_just to hear his voice._

_To know that he would quell my fears_

_And right all the wrooooooooooongs"_

Her song was cut short by someone falling from the sky on top of her. Hermione would've laughed had she not realized who that someone was. "Sirius?!?!"

* * *

Sorry about the shortness, but I've got a huge family dinner to help prepare for. But I really wanted to get the first chapter up, to set a scene for the story. 

Please review! xoxo


	3. Chapter 2

Sirius had done some wild things. He'd been drunk more times then he'd like to admit. He'd once jumped off a roof, thinking he could fly (Which only resulted in several broken bones and his Peter Pan complex smashed to pieces.) He'd even once hit on McGonagall in a desperate attempt to get better grades. But this had to top his 'Crazy things Sirius has seen or done' list. He'd fallen on top of a cartoon. A CARTOON.

Was he drunk again?

"Hermione? What the hell's going on?"

"Welcome to Adoricas. Please leave your sanity at the door." She said dryly.

Meanwhile, Enchantra stood up and was staring open-mouthed at Sirius, as though she'd never seen anything like him. (Hermione couldn't blame her. All the guys she saw weren't solid.)

Sirius glanced at her and winked. (Hermione groaned. Couldn't he cease the picking up until they'd sorted out why in Merlin's name they were in some sort of fairytale land?) "Hello, love." He grasped her hand, laying a kiss on it.

"That looks really strange." Hermione commented from behind them. "It was nice to meet you, Enchantra, but we've got to be on our way…"

"Oh, kind sir, I'm afraid I've got the vapors. Could you please help me find a place to rest my weary head?" Hermione rolled her eyes, but walked after the two.

They found a bail of hay in a barn for Enchantra. ("So she can be at one with her horse friends." Hermione had muttered)

"Okay. You have to talk to her. Find out exactly what's going on. Why everyone's cartoon. Who's the… leader or whatever of this place. Why-"

"I get it! I get it!" Look, love. I guarantee we'll have answers within 5 minutes. After all, I'm Sirius Black. Who could resist my charm and good looks?!"

"Yet your ego seems to ruin it all." Hermione muttered as Sirius sauntered over to Enchantra. She followed, standing close enough to hear, but not close enough to ruin the 'moment.'

"Thankyou for finding me this barn. I am ever so grateful." Enchantra said, eyelashes fluttering wildly.

"Got something in your eye?" Sirius asked, trying to be smooth. Hermione snorted.

"What is your name, kind sir?"

"I am… Sir Sirius. Here to protect you. And stuff."

While Enchantra oooh'd and ahhh'd, Hermione dragged Sirius further away.

"Good job, Casanova." She said sarcastically. "You know, for the most charming Marauder, you kind of suck at this."

Sirius quirked one eyebrow at her. "You think I'm charming?"

Hermione hit him.

* * *

"_Okay, let's not panic. There's no need to panic. HARRY OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU PANICKING?!?!?!?!?!"_

"_Shut up Ron." _

"_If I lived here, I'd probably want to disappear too." One of the two females in the room said quietly._

"_I heard that, Ginevra."_

"_Good, Ronald." _

"_Okay, you three, pipe down. We've got to sort this out. Hermione and Sirius can't just disappear into thin air like this. It's not like either of them. Well. It's not like Hermione." _

"_I knew I didn't just marry you for your good looks. Your logical too." _

"_Aww, thankyou Tonks."_

"_Why do we still call her Tonks if she's a Lupin now?"_

_"Ron, if you don't stick to the topic, I will stick your wand up-"_

"_Okay! Wow Gin, do you get this kinky in bed with Harry?"_

"_GINNY! NO! STOP! GET OFF OF HIM! HE'S YOUR BROTHER, REMEMBER YOU LOVE HIM!!"_

_Remus sat and watched everyone trying to pry Ginny off of Ron. (Actually, trying to pry Ginny's hands off of Ron's neck.) They were never going to figure anything out. _

* * *

Hermione and Sirius had left Enchantra and were now walking aimlessly. 

"Look, I know Remus. And my godson. And they'll be doing everything in their power to try and find us."

"And I know your godson. And Ron. And I still say they'll be doing everything but trying to find us."

"Well look at you, Miss Negative."

"Sirius, just… shut up. I have a blinding headache, and your voice isn't doing much to help it."

"What're you talking about? My voice would put birds to shame!"

"Crows, maybe."

"Look, let's sit down and try to figure something out."

Just as they began to sat, Hermione heard horses hooves.

"EARTHQUAKE!" Sirius yelled, leaping and squashing Hermione under him.

"GET OFF!" Hermione cried under him.

A new voice was added to the mix as someone picked Sirius off of Hermione and threw him to the side, like a rag doll. "Unhand the fair maiden!"

"Oh God." Hermione mumbled, glancing up at Prince Draconis.

"Are you hurt, my lovely goddess?"

"No! No, I'm fine."

Sirius managed to get up, shaking his hair out of his eyes. "Malfoy?!"

"Sirius, meet Draconis."

"Why were you on my dearest?!"

"Um. Draconis, Hermione's my name. I'm fine with you calling me that."

"Really?!" Draconis clutched Hermione's arms and pulled her flush against his chest, leaving her not knowing for the life of her why he was reacting like this to something so simple.

"It is her name." Sirius said dryly, crossing his arms and looking very sour.

"Oh my dearest Hermione. The fact that you allow me to call you by your name shows your love for me!"

"What?! No, no! There's no love here! I let everyone call me my name."

"Yeah, Draconis, mate. She's a right town bike. She let's ANYONE call her by her name." Sirius said, clapping him on the back, a smug smile on his face.

"Sirius. You. Are. Not. Helping." Hermione ground out, trying to pull away from Draconis' strong grip.

"Alright, Draconis. Time to let go of my bride."

"Your WHAT?!?!" Hermione cried shrilly.

"Yes, she's my bride. And a feisty one at that. You should hear the things she says in bed. But that's not the only reason I keep her around. She makes a mean meatloaf, and she washes my shirts-"

"Sirius, have you ever wondered what it's like to be a woman?"

"Once or twice."

"Keep talking, and you won't need to wonder."

"…Point taken."

"God, we're never going to get out of here!"

"Don't worry! Our friends will save us, I know it. As long as their not eating my secret stash of chocolate. Cause if we get back and there's one piece missing, there will be hell to pay."

* * *

"_Let's go to Dumbledore! He'll know something!!"_

"_Ron, lately that's your answer to everything. 'The toasters broken! Let's go to Dumbledore!' 'My shirts torn! Let's go to Dumbledore!"_

"_Well, sorry, but he is kind of the wisest wizard we know. He might as well help us with something!"_

"_Ron, he helped us save the wizarding world."_

"_Well that's just fine and dandy, but if a man doesn't know how to fix a torn shirt without using magic, there's something wrong."_

"…_I'm ashamed to call you my brother. Where'd Harry, Remus and Tonks go?"_

_"I think they got sick of us bickering. They went to go investigate in Sirius and Hermione's rooms."_

"_Oh. Think we should go after them?"_

"…_Nah. Let's stay here and eat all of Sirius' chocolate."_

* * *

The castle looked ominous. And Sirius felt the need to tell his companion that.

"The castle looks ominous, Hermione."

"I'm impressed you know that word at all. And I know it looks a little frightening, but it's our best bet right now. As long as there's no guards outside singing 'all we own, we owe."

"Pardon?"

"Muggle thing. Okay. You knock."

"What?! Why can't you knock?!"

"Because I'm a woman, Sirius, and I'm scared, and it's dark. Besides, your supposed to have the balls here."

"Enjoy talking about my balls, do you?"

Hermione answered with a smack to his shoulder.

"Fine. I'll knock." He did so, and a spooky knock sounded from within the castle, echoing. The doors swung open, revealing.. no one to be there.

"I've got a bad feeling about this now." Hermione said, shivering slightly.

Sirius looked kind of excited by now. "I haven't had a decent adventure in so long. I feel like Nancy Drew!"

Hermione stopped and looked in disbelief at him. "Nancy Drew?!"

Sirius blushed bright red. "I read the books from time to time. When there's nothing else to do."

Hermione smirked and stored the fact into her memory for later use, but the smirk was wiped from her face soon after, when the doors slammed shut behind them. She clutched on to Sirius' leather jacket, eyes wide. "Ohhh, this isn't good. Were going to die. Were going to die a lot. A LOT."

Sirius rolled his eyes and gently pried her hands from his jacket, lacing one of them with his and giving it a quick squeeze. "There's nothing to worry about. I'm right here."

"Oh that's reassuring." She glanced around the castle, which was eerily quiet.

"Sirius. If were in some kind of a fairytale land, doesn't that mean the queen or king is evil?!"

"Not always."

"Yes, always!!"

Sirius cocked his head to the side. "Maybe your right, actually."

"SILENCE!"  
The two jumped, and Sirius squealed. (Even in her frightened state, Hermione giggled internally with glee at another thing she could tease him about.)

"Who are you? How dare you walk the halls of my castle?"

Standing in front of the two was obviously the cartoon queen of Adoricas.

"Sirius, does that remind you of-"

"Yes."

"But with-"

"Scarily enough, yes."

It was all there. The lack of nose. The thin lips and pale skin. It was a clone of Voldemort, but in animation and with long black hair and a black dress. A dress with a very low cut neckline, Sirius was horrified to see.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" Bellowed She-Voldemort.

"…I am Hermione, meek and mild?" Hermione tried. Sirius shot her a confused look.

"Why are you in my castle?!"

"We want to know why were here. And how to get home." Sirius said.

"How to get home? HA!"

Music started. Hermione took a deep breath to calm her rising frustration.

"_Oh, the little mortals, they quake with fear._

_When they see me walk by._

_They know of my power and my beauty._

_And this is why they cry,_

_Voldamora, our queen!_

_The most powerful we've ever known!_

_Voldamora, we love you!_

_And now these two must be shown!_

_I rule with fear and an iron fist-"_

Hermione glanced over at Sirius and raised both eyebrows as she saw him waving his arms in the air, dancing away.

"Sirius. Stop it!" She hissed. She then glanced at 'Voldamora,' who had begun to swing dance with herself while singing.

"This is gonna be a long night."

* * *

Okay, so that's chapter 2! Please review. 


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